The Monster
Save me written in
blood casted on the walls but now I was reluctant to move forward, not knowing
what horror lay ahead of me. Isolated, I still made the decision to furtively
sneak forward .Half of me wanted me to fall back although the other was eager to
unravel all these mysteries. Consequently, by making the decision, I saw what
no man will ever want to see. Dead bodies, the blood was dried up, their
clothes were ripped and scars covered their bodies like a blanket. Looked more like
zombies to me. With the zombies putting me off I crept forward. AHH! It echoed
through the tunnel as I tripped over the dead bodies. Getting up, I started to
dread being here. I felt like somebody had their eyes fixed on me, I looked
right, left, behind and up. I saw something. Run, Run, Run. I said in my head.
So I did but then I reached a dead end .Turned then saw the beady yellow eyes…
great work!I really liked this sentence 'Dead bodies, the blood was dried up, their clothes were ripped and scars covered their bodies like a blanket.'
ReplyDeletevery good work
ReplyDeleteGREAT WORK!!! Nothing really bad about it.
ReplyDeleteI like your opening sentence,SSave me written in blood casted on the walls but now I was reluctant to move forward, not knowing what horror lay ahead ave me written in blood casted on the walls but now I was reluctant to move forward, not knowing what horror lay ahead.I like how you got a drop in clause in,consequently,by making my decision, I sawwhat no man will ever want to see. I think you can put some more powerful adjectives in the writing.
ReplyDeletewell done yameen i liked your description about the monster,Save me written in blood casted on the walls but now I was reluctant to move forward. you could have described what the monster smelled like and the room, and you could have described the sight of the room a bit more.
ReplyDelete