=>3500 Eiger: Amna's Work 18.03.13

Welcome

Getting feedback is important to our writers.

Let us know what you liked or what you learned.
Steps to Comment:

1. Write your comment in the box below. Be sure that you have proofread it for spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capital letters. Children should have an adult check it!

2. Choose an identity. Select Name/Url and leave the url blank if you do not have a blog.

3. Click "Publish your Comment". You may preview your comment before publishing if you'd like. Important: All comments MUST be approved by me.:-) Mr Ahmed

Visitor Counter

Monday, 18 March 2013

2 Amna's Work 18.03.13


Write a missing chapter!

 

The following day Bradley jumped in excitement for it was D-day! He couldn’t wait until they got on the coach and arrived in the Science Museum. Pushing everyone, Bradley hurried towards Mrs Ebbel. ”When are we going? “Bradley shouted, stomping his feet until the floor shook. But Mrs Ebbel paid no attention to Bradley and did a headcount instead. Behind him Jeff and his friends. Immediately, Jeff and his friends started to whisper and then Bradley overheard their conversation and soon his face gradually became a brighter shade of red. Mortified, Bradley darted out of his seat then his eyes fitted at Jeff. Jeff approached him, and pushed his fist in front of Bradley’s chest. BANG! Bradley double overed but quickly backfired with the same action whilst Mrs Ebbel was glaring at him. Brian, Jeff, Robbie and Andy pushed and told Mrs Ebbel one of the biggest lie ever. It began by Jeff...”Mrs Ebbel, Bradley punched me! All we were doing were talking secretly. You should tell him to go to the principal’s office.“Why? “answered Mrs Ebbel

“Because” “NO any way you are NOT going to the science museum I’m sorry!”

Bradley went back in distraught into Carla’s office but she did not seem to be there!

By Amna

2 comments:

  1. Well done Amna! You used good words like distraught and approached. There is nothing to improve.

    ReplyDelete
  2. good you added good words and included a lot of punctuation which is good.

    ReplyDelete