Charity
Choice
Dear fellow students
of South Park Primary School.
My name is Emily
Lopez, and I am here today to persuade and encourage you to choose my charity
called ‘Somalia need water!’ I am sure that you have heard that children are
suffering from Civil War and water.
Surly you must agree,
that 70% of the water in Somalia is infected by waste, urine and dirt. It’s
essential for them to have clean water as you are filled with them at home! Do
you want this on your conscience? Why not help these poor children? In Somalia
it is 50 degrees hot which will show that the water in the lakes and rivers
will dry out. By you putting in the well you will be on a grave with your name
on it, and children in Somalia will be proud of you. Even though its £200,000,
it will be a life time investment for children in the future. These children
deserve to have rights as we are blessed and they are unfortunate. If you
participate in this charity event you will receive a goody badge with a large
pack of chocolates and sweets.
This is a once in a
life time opportunity! Make the right choice! Do you want this to be on your
mind?
Then stop this enduring by doing your bit!
Undoubtly this is the best charity choice you have seen. So make your vote
count! Contribute in this charity event!
@Selma,Selma you have used many different words such as contribute and opportunity
ReplyDeleteWow, a lot of drama and alot and the information flows!You used many difrent words!
ReplyDelete@Selma, Selma you have staticts and rhetorchial senteces.Howecer, I think you need to word your sentences diffrently like by putting in a well your name wil be on a grave
ReplyDeletevery persausive
ReplyDeleteyou have structered your sentences propley and you have very good wors i am very impressed
ReplyDeleteYou have used statistics which makes your writing stand out.
ReplyDeletewell done you have structerd your sentences correctly and you have used fantastic words i am shocked and impressed at the same time Mr Arhmed probbably is proud by your well produced work good girl.You have used statistics that are belivable
ReplyDeleteWell done Selma
well done you have structerd your sentences correctly and you have used fantastic words.You have used statistics
ReplyDeleteWell done Selms