The
Monster
As
my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I let out a blood-curdling shriek. In front
of me lay a … mouse? I let out a huge
sigh of relief. I had been imagining it! As I walked further through the pitch
black caves, I had a strange feeling someone’s eyes were fixated on my back. I
took a few steps forward and then almost immediately turned around. My eyes met
a horrifying scene. Once again I let out a blood-curdling scream. In front of
me was a monstrous monster!!! With blood dripping from its lips, it was clear
it wanted to annihilate me. My legs turned to jelly. It roared louder than an
erupting volcano and a pride of lions put together, spraying me with mucus and
snot. I collapsed in a shivering heap while my life flashed before my eyes. I
was only 11 years old! There were so many things I wanted to do before I grew
up. But it was too late to turn back now…!!!
The
horrifying beast grasped me in its slimy gigantic hands and raised his hand so
we were now face to face. “Tom! Tom! Wake up!” exclaimed a voice.
“Huh?”
mumbled Tom, puzzled by the familiar voice. One minute, a monster was about to
ea
Great use of vocab. Nothing really bad.
ReplyDeleteI liked about the expression you put on but you sould look carefully of your work there are some spelling mistake.
ReplyDeleteYou have mentioned lots of wow words and vocabluary.You have mentioned hot the monster looks like and lots of words which give more affect.But, you should add suspence so it will stand out.
ReplyDeleteYou have used good vocab like blood-curling shriek however you work is quite borring,you keep repeating certain words like shriek also the people published your work have accidently missed out the last word
ReplyDeleteI like the great use of vocab.well don but next time look at yor
ReplyDeletespelling
you used good vocab and you created a very high standard of work but try and add some more words that could build up suspense.
ReplyDelete