=>3500 Eiger: Anisah's Work 04.03.13

Welcome

Getting feedback is important to our writers.

Let us know what you liked or what you learned.
Steps to Comment:

1. Write your comment in the box below. Be sure that you have proofread it for spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capital letters. Children should have an adult check it!

2. Choose an identity. Select Name/Url and leave the url blank if you do not have a blog.

3. Click "Publish your Comment". You may preview your comment before publishing if you'd like. Important: All comments MUST be approved by me.:-) Mr Ahmed

Visitor Counter


Free Web Counter

Monday 4 March 2013

3 Anisah's Work 04.03.13


The Raging Sea

 

The sea is a tiger,

Ravenously devouring everything in its way.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The sea snarled as it crashed on land,

Hunting for its prey.

 

SPLASH, SMASH, BOOM,

Went the sea as it roar uncontrollably,

Like a wounded lion.

SPLOSH, SPLISH, SWOOSH,

The sea growled as it piled on top of itself,

Roaming around for its next victim.

 

Cunningly causing chaos,

The criticizing sea stomps past the innocent people like a…..

VICIOUS VIKING!                                       
Posted by at
Labels:

3 comments:

  1. Ibrahim4 March 2013 at 11:09

    Well done Anisah i like when you put onamatopea like splodh, splish and swoosh and for describing the sea as vicous and you should tell more of what dangerous thing the sea does

    ReplyDelete
  2. aleena4 March 2013 at 11:12

    Good you have described the it like cunningly causing chaos but you could have made it more effective by putting more description in the start.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Georgia4 March 2013 at 11:15

    Wow! it is amazing Anisah i like the word cuningly that was a great word to put in your writing this writing was amazing to read

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)